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I actually like the KAHR-mee-an pronunciation much better than the SHAHR-mee-an one. I think it's lovely and much better than Charmaine (which has always seemed rather trashy to me). I've never known a Charmian and I do think people would often think it's actually suppsosed to be Charmain(e)

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Unfortunately, it also reminds me of toilet paper ("Charmin").