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Help[Opinions] Maitri?
I have... a vague friend. She's a good friend, but we tend to meet at parties, go to parties together in taxies, shop and get coffee. My boyfriend about three years ago was of Indian-ish descent, and his brother married this friend of mine. Well, I met her as his to-be sister-in-law, and we got to chatting. Her name is Ila, and she's a lovely fairweather friend. Basically, the meaning of the rant is that although I know her, I don't -really- know her. I wouldn't call her Indian. I'd call her Anglo-Anglo-Anglo Indian. I've dated a few Indians in my time, and the impression I get, and the massive impression since meeting her family I get, is that English-British people figure heavily. I can't place her religion. I discuss religion and culture a lot with my friends, being...well...anyway. It doesn't matter, I am what I am. I just love meeting different cultures. It never came up. I know she's not Christian, and don't -think- she's Buddhist.
ANYWAY! I met her when she was pregnant with her first daughter, Lalita ("la-lee-tah"). She is now pregnant with twin girls. She is set on the name Maitri for one ("mieh-tri", said like a 'my' or 'mi' sound with the slightest, slightest, slightest echo of an 'ee' sound on the end. The 'tri' is the emphasis, but the 't' is not very hard at all, the i is an 'ee' sound, and the r is rolled. I can't explain well. It was never my thing.) and is considering Sila ("Sigh-lah"), Tara (Tah/Dah/Dtah-rah) or Kamini (Kah-mi-nee) for the second daughter. She also likes Chanda "Chen-DAH".
Being asked for advice, I can't help but find this an eclectic taste in names. I find Maitri lovely. Would stealing it and using it as a middle name for a none-Indian child one dy be okay? It sounds beautiful. The spelling is horrible. Also, Maitri is a less used word for the Buddhist virtue Metta, meaning 'loving-kindness, friendliness, benevolence, amity, friendship, good will, kindness, love, sympathy, and active interest in others.', from what I found. I don't know about the mother, but I know the father's pretty un-religious, and his family has no known (to me) Buddhist roots. It's a beautiful sounding name, but is it inappropriate for a non-Buddhist, and can it be used as a name? Well, we call children Charity and Prudence, don't we?
If we say there's Lalita and Maitri, out of Sila, Tara (also linked to Buddhism), Kamini and Chanda do you think will go? I also met two lovely Indian ladies called Nehal (who was always called "NEE-hahl") and Mayuri ( who was always called "migh-UR-ee"). I'm thinking about suggesting them? I only know that Mayuri might mean 'peacock' or 'peahen'. It's probably too close to Maitri. I'm a little out of my depth, but authenticity doesn't matter here - so says the Indian-ish English woman, and extremely English atheist Indian, so professed, in question. I just need something intelligent to say :P I'm a language student of old. They think I have something wise to say, and I really don't!
I actually like Lalita, Maitri and Nehal. Alphabetic, hey? I also like Chanda. I find Tara too western for the set sibset, even if it is very pretty.
What do you think? Help needed! :)
ANYWAY! I met her when she was pregnant with her first daughter, Lalita ("la-lee-tah"). She is now pregnant with twin girls. She is set on the name Maitri for one ("mieh-tri", said like a 'my' or 'mi' sound with the slightest, slightest, slightest echo of an 'ee' sound on the end. The 'tri' is the emphasis, but the 't' is not very hard at all, the i is an 'ee' sound, and the r is rolled. I can't explain well. It was never my thing.) and is considering Sila ("Sigh-lah"), Tara (Tah/Dah/Dtah-rah) or Kamini (Kah-mi-nee) for the second daughter. She also likes Chanda "Chen-DAH".
Being asked for advice, I can't help but find this an eclectic taste in names. I find Maitri lovely. Would stealing it and using it as a middle name for a none-Indian child one dy be okay? It sounds beautiful. The spelling is horrible. Also, Maitri is a less used word for the Buddhist virtue Metta, meaning 'loving-kindness, friendliness, benevolence, amity, friendship, good will, kindness, love, sympathy, and active interest in others.', from what I found. I don't know about the mother, but I know the father's pretty un-religious, and his family has no known (to me) Buddhist roots. It's a beautiful sounding name, but is it inappropriate for a non-Buddhist, and can it be used as a name? Well, we call children Charity and Prudence, don't we?
If we say there's Lalita and Maitri, out of Sila, Tara (also linked to Buddhism), Kamini and Chanda do you think will go? I also met two lovely Indian ladies called Nehal (who was always called "NEE-hahl") and Mayuri ( who was always called "migh-UR-ee"). I'm thinking about suggesting them? I only know that Mayuri might mean 'peacock' or 'peahen'. It's probably too close to Maitri. I'm a little out of my depth, but authenticity doesn't matter here - so says the Indian-ish English woman, and extremely English atheist Indian, so professed, in question. I just need something intelligent to say :P I'm a language student of old. They think I have something wise to say, and I really don't!
I actually like Lalita, Maitri and Nehal. Alphabetic, hey? I also like Chanda. I find Tara too western for the set sibset, even if it is very pretty.
What do you think? Help needed! :)
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Replies
I think you should wait till after the child is born and named, and starts crawling. Then, ask her if she'd mind if you used Maitri as a middle name. She'll probably be flattered. Don't mention it while she's pregnant though. She'll probably flip. Neat name. I like it lots.
It's my opinion that if someone doesn't feel bound to use names from only one heritage, and doesn't feel alienated enough to avoid names from another, all names are in play. We all name our kids the names that are in our comfort zone - I'm pretty sure we can't help it. I think any of the names listed would go with Maitri just fine, except I agree Tara sounds ill-matched even though technically it's not. Sila is a nice subtle "match" as a virtue name, but whatever. I'd be inclined to use something that is most easily pronounced by the family's immediate society, and if they are mostly native English speakers, that puts Lalita and Kamini at the top.
It's my opinion that if someone doesn't feel bound to use names from only one heritage, and doesn't feel alienated enough to avoid names from another, all names are in play. We all name our kids the names that are in our comfort zone - I'm pretty sure we can't help it. I think any of the names listed would go with Maitri just fine, except I agree Tara sounds ill-matched even though technically it's not. Sila is a nice subtle "match" as a virtue name, but whatever. I'd be inclined to use something that is most easily pronounced by the family's immediate society, and if they are mostly native English speakers, that puts Lalita and Kamini at the top.
This message was edited 7/22/2010, 5:41 PM
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Your first question is about you using Maitri as a mn. I think it's fine. I don't think you not being Indian has anything to do with it. People use names from other cultures all the time. If you are worried about using "her" name, then it depends on how often you cross paths. If it really worries you, then I would run it by her. If she's OK with it, then go right ahead. Even if she isn't, I'd still say it's OK. But it might alter your semi-friendship, so factor that in.
All of the names she is considering for twin #2 sound lovely to me. My favorite is Nehal because it is beautiful. Plus I like the subtle (key word subtle) alphabetical theme. Others you might want to suggest: Surya, Kavindra (then she'd have K, L and M dds), Aditi, Rohana, Yasmine, Kerani, Indira, Anjali, Lilavati, Amarantha, Sunniva, Asha / Esha, Aina, Suvi, Alma, Jada, Galatea.
Obviously, not all of these are Indian / Hindi. I don't know if she's looking only at those names. Oh, one other thought. You could show her this site, especially the list of Indian / Hindi names from the home page.
All of the names she is considering for twin #2 sound lovely to me. My favorite is Nehal because it is beautiful. Plus I like the subtle (key word subtle) alphabetical theme. Others you might want to suggest: Surya, Kavindra (then she'd have K, L and M dds), Aditi, Rohana, Yasmine, Kerani, Indira, Anjali, Lilavati, Amarantha, Sunniva, Asha / Esha, Aina, Suvi, Alma, Jada, Galatea.
Obviously, not all of these are Indian / Hindi. I don't know if she's looking only at those names. Oh, one other thought. You could show her this site, especially the list of Indian / Hindi names from the home page.
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*day be okay
Also, Sila is NOT pronounced Sigh-lah, but a very short Shih/Sheh sound, and then Lah. Sorry. My bad. 'Shih/Sheh-lah'. It is another Buddhist virtue, meaning 'morality, good conduct, moral discipline'. Although I find 'sigh-lah' probably prettier, my pronunciation aide buddy of awesome doom (heh) misunderstood me.
It could also feasibly be written Shila, but I find it too close to Sheila.
Also, Sila is NOT pronounced Sigh-lah, but a very short Shih/Sheh sound, and then Lah. Sorry. My bad. 'Shih/Sheh-lah'. It is another Buddhist virtue, meaning 'morality, good conduct, moral discipline'. Although I find 'sigh-lah' probably prettier, my pronunciation aide buddy of awesome doom (heh) misunderstood me.
It could also feasibly be written Shila, but I find it too close to Sheila.
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