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can i reply to that? i don't believe that the middle name is used very much at all. 95% of the time i go by my first name and then 5% of the time i go by my middle name. actually, it's only my mother who uses my middle name. my belief is that a person's middle name is of no use to them. if your soon to be exbrother in laws first name was Joseph, then you probably would feel like you don't want to use it.