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Help[Opinions] I have a feeling that I will have to fight to have my husband take my last name.
in reply to a message by Briallen
He'll also probably be angry that I won't wear an engagement ring (unless he does, I'm not property tyvm). If worst comes to worst, I'll take his last name - but only as a last resort. I'm a firm believer in a family have the same last name - makes things easier and more cohiesve.
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Why is this so important?
I have kept my ln, my daughter has mn ln as a mn and it is no problem at all.
The "whole family having the same ln" is really not such an old custom and it is not done all over the world.
I am still the same individual when I am married, so why should I change my name? To me, this seems like the 50's when it was the ultimate goal for a girl to get married. And then of course being Mrs Smith was so much better than being miss Brown. So Mary Brown became Mrs John Smith, proud to be an anonymous wife.
Nobody can force you to give up your ln, but then you can't expect someone giving up his either. Especially as American (English, Canadian, Australian, NZ?) men seem so unwilling even to let the wife keep her ln.
"But it’s all right now.
I learned my lesson well.
You see you can’t please everyone
So you got to please yourself."
Rick Nelson, GardenParty
"It does not become me to make myself smaller than I am." (Edith Södergran 1891-1923)
I have kept my ln, my daughter has mn ln as a mn and it is no problem at all.
The "whole family having the same ln" is really not such an old custom and it is not done all over the world.
I am still the same individual when I am married, so why should I change my name? To me, this seems like the 50's when it was the ultimate goal for a girl to get married. And then of course being Mrs Smith was so much better than being miss Brown. So Mary Brown became Mrs John Smith, proud to be an anonymous wife.
Nobody can force you to give up your ln, but then you can't expect someone giving up his either. Especially as American (English, Canadian, Australian, NZ?) men seem so unwilling even to let the wife keep her ln.
"But it’s all right now.
I learned my lesson well.
You see you can’t please everyone
So you got to please yourself."
Rick Nelson, GardenParty
"It does not become me to make myself smaller than I am." (Edith Södergran 1891-1923)
1
I want to keep my family name because I love it. It's unique and beautiful and not to mention - my father had no sons. As the eldest daughter, I'd like to carry the name on.
I suppose I wouldn't mind taking my husband's name so much if he let the kids keep my last name. Though that could add to the confusement - somebody here mentioned uniformity to erase confusion and I agree with that.
Then again, I'm only 20 and am no where close to settling down lol I'll make my final decision when the time actually comes. :)
"Chan eil tuil air nach tig traoghadh"
"Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know"
- 'Home', Michael Buble
I suppose I wouldn't mind taking my husband's name so much if he let the kids keep my last name. Though that could add to the confusement - somebody here mentioned uniformity to erase confusion and I agree with that.
Then again, I'm only 20 and am no where close to settling down lol I'll make my final decision when the time actually comes. :)
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know"
- 'Home', Michael Buble
1
Not all guys are like that, Pierre is actually considering taking my last name, its not overly important to me but it is something to consider.
I know a few men around here that have taken on their wives names or taken both names and hyphenated.
One of my friends is A. Cunningham-Smith-Harris. Becuase her father's name was Smith-Harris and her mothers name was Cunningham so the whole fmaily took all three.
~~~~~~~~~~ Bex ~~~~~~~~~~~
Lover of the book Sirius & Remus
I know a few men around here that have taken on their wives names or taken both names and hyphenated.
One of my friends is A. Cunningham-Smith-Harris. Becuase her father's name was Smith-Harris and her mothers name was Cunningham so the whole fmaily took all three.
~~~~~~~~~~ Bex ~~~~~~~~~~~
Lover of the book Sirius & Remus
1
I took my husband's last name for several reasons.
1. I loved him and it seemed the gushy, romantic thing to do. (In no way, shape, or form do either of us believe a woman is less than a man).
2. I liked his name better than mine. It's much easier to pronounce and sounds nicer, imo.
3. I do think it is easier to have the same name as your children and because of #'s 1 and 2, I wanted them to have his last name.
1. I loved him and it seemed the gushy, romantic thing to do. (In no way, shape, or form do either of us believe a woman is less than a man).
2. I liked his name better than mine. It's much easier to pronounce and sounds nicer, imo.
3. I do think it is easier to have the same name as your children and because of #'s 1 and 2, I wanted them to have his last name.
1
My first instinct is that you definitely will have to fight.
But I suppose it's possible you could find a laid back guy who didn't mind taking your name.
It surprised me how emphatic my husband was about me taking his last name. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do and I just casually mentioned keeping my last name. We ended up having a huge argument about it. In the end, I decided to take his last name but keep my name as a middle name. Which worked out ok, but it's such a pain when filling out forms (having four names) that I just shorten it to just his last name most of the time. It's just easier.
I've heard from another friend that keeping your own name is a huge pain, though, and most people still call you Mrs. HisLastName anyway. So I'm kind of glad I switched names, in the end. But I was surprised at how much of a fight he put up for me taking his name. My husband is usually pretty laid back, in general. I wonder if this is an important issue for most guys - that a woman take their name.
But I suppose it's possible you could find a laid back guy who didn't mind taking your name.
It surprised me how emphatic my husband was about me taking his last name. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do and I just casually mentioned keeping my last name. We ended up having a huge argument about it. In the end, I decided to take his last name but keep my name as a middle name. Which worked out ok, but it's such a pain when filling out forms (having four names) that I just shorten it to just his last name most of the time. It's just easier.
I've heard from another friend that keeping your own name is a huge pain, though, and most people still call you Mrs. HisLastName anyway. So I'm kind of glad I switched names, in the end. But I was surprised at how much of a fight he put up for me taking his name. My husband is usually pretty laid back, in general. I wonder if this is an important issue for most guys - that a woman take their name.
1
Perhaps we should start a post and have the guys on here comment?
"Chan eil tuil air nach tig traoghadh"
"Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know"
- 'Home', Michael Buble
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know"
- 'Home', Michael Buble
1