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Boys:
Asa - eh
Callum - Scottish
Clinton - President?
Dexter - nerdy
Declan - Irish
Ebenezer - Scrooge
Eben - Evan with a lisp?
Ezra - Asian kid playing cello, because that's the only Ezra I've ever met
Isaac - unattractive
Josiah - a friend I had a in 2nd grade
Jonah - and the Whale
Judah - the place
Leo - Leonardo DiCaprio
Leroy - laid back
Liam - This is my United States of Whatever...
Linton - lint
Lindall (LYNN-dahl) - Surname
Malcolm - X
Malachi - Biblical name
Owen - Michelle Branch's daughter
Oren - a bird
Ray - of light
Raymond - eh
Reece - fleece
Riley - dog name
Stuart - Stewie
Vannie - fannie
Vaughan - Surname
Vincent - a security guard
Wallace - nerdy
Walter - middle-aged man; like the nn Walt
Westley - West

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Girls:
Adah - Ada with an h?
Annis - Alanis
Bernice - pretty in a strange way
Belrose - some sort of retirement center
Corasande (Cora-sahnd-uh) - Cassandra
Coralie - coral-y
Emmaline - Emmeline
Felicity - the American Girl doll
Iris - eyes
Jessamyn - trendy-looking
Jeanne - pretty with the French prn
Jeanna - eh
Kayla - borrrring
Keturah - ketchup?
Laurel - plant; root of my name
Lindel (LYNN-dehl) - Surname
Lydian - prefer Lydia
Margaret - my grandmother
Miriam - my teacher's daughter; sounds stuffy
Moriah - prefer Mariah
Mahalia - don't like it
Inez - pretty
Ophelia - dark and gothic-sounding
Priscilla - prissy brat
Selah - the sky
Sapphira - sapphires
Tova - toga
Victoria - all the people I've known with this name
Vivienne - a stuck-up rich, young widow
Vania - Vanilla?
Wallis - on a girl? good lord