[Opinions] Using Ex’s Name on Child
I don’t know if BtN ever had this question before but I’ll ask either way:
How would you feel hypothetically, if you had a partner who was a widow, and wanted to name your child after their deceased old partner? Weird? Awkward? No-go? I’m curious to hear your thoughts.
I’ve seen it on social media a few times before.
https://www.behindthename.com/pnl/217493
"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves." - William Shakespeare
How would you feel hypothetically, if you had a partner who was a widow, and wanted to name your child after their deceased old partner? Weird? Awkward? No-go? I’m curious to hear your thoughts.
I’ve seen it on social media a few times before.
https://www.behindthename.com/pnl/217493
Replies
I’m not crazy about my ex’s name but even if I were I would never dream of using it. The only exception would be is if the name were also the name of another family member you were close to such as a favorite uncle or a grandfather.
I'd be okay with using it as a middle name, but definitely not as a first name. When the child grows up it's completely fine to tell them about the deceased partner, but naming the child after them would be strange.
If the partner is deceased, AND it's a name I would have considered anyway and really liked, then it could be just fine.
If it's a name I don't really like, middle name would be okay.
If the ex-partner is still alive, highly unlikely.
It's very hard to imagine wanting to name a child with someone else, after a living ex. (It bothers me a little that my child was born on my ex's birthday ... and it wasn't even a bitter breakup.) So it's hard to imagine finding it acceptable if my partner wanted to do that.
But it would depend on everything. It's conceivable that I could be okay with it under some circumstances. Just in general though, I don't feel like I would be.
If it's a name I don't really like, middle name would be okay.
If the ex-partner is still alive, highly unlikely.
It's very hard to imagine wanting to name a child with someone else, after a living ex. (It bothers me a little that my child was born on my ex's birthday ... and it wasn't even a bitter breakup.) So it's hard to imagine finding it acceptable if my partner wanted to do that.
But it would depend on everything. It's conceivable that I could be okay with it under some circumstances. Just in general though, I don't feel like I would be.
This message was edited 8/24/2022, 11:44 PM
I understand the grief over the ex, but if their name is going to be passed on to child that you had with another person, I think it's disrespectful to the current partner and their child - but not if the partner was close to your ex and decided that it was okay. As long as the parents are happy, I guess. But I would never do that.
This message was edited 8/25/2022, 5:45 AM
My grandmother was named after her father's ex (and very much alive) girlfriend haha
If that's the case, I think it's okay, but it's quite not right, in the name of love (I don't know how to phrase this lol)
But if you're naming your child after your ex because of the remaining love (in this case the ex is still alive), its so weird, awkward, and no-go to me. Don't you think about the feeling of your partner? I think it must be painful or sad to them to call their kids with their ex-rival names.
But if you're naming your child after your ex because of the remaining love (in this case the ex is still alive), its so weird, awkward, and no-go to me. Don't you think about the feeling of your partner? I think it must be painful or sad to them to call their kids with their ex-rival names.
I guess kinda weird but if it works for them, then it works. I think I saw it happen in news articles and on sm mostly when both the widow/er and their new spouse were close to the deceased person before they passed - it makes sense then, they both may actually want to do it on their own.
And even if they never met, I think if you date a widow/er, it's to be expected that they won't just forget their previous spouse, they probably don't want to, which is fine. If the dead person had a name the new partner likes, I see nothing wrong with it.
And even if they never met, I think if you date a widow/er, it's to be expected that they won't just forget their previous spouse, they probably don't want to, which is fine. If the dead person had a name the new partner likes, I see nothing wrong with it.
I feel like that would be a bit weird. Using the same name of an ex for a child doesn’t irk me. However, naming a kid *after* the ex would be a different story. I can understand his grievances for his ex. If he highly insisted, I’d be willing to allow it for the middle name slot.
Definitely weird. Seems also odd someone would want to have a child they 've had with a new partner named after their deceased partner (who I wouldn't call an "ex" who's assumed to be a still alive former partner).
I've used the names of friends and family members, but only if I also liked the names. For instance, I would never consider Edna or Percy, though they are family names. So I can't really see the problem with a child being named after someone who is (a) dead and (b) had a nice name. I don't find it upsetting to think about. If it's not such a nice name, then use it as a mn, why not?
Definitely no-go. It gives me goose bumps to think about it.
Definite no-go scenario. The only concession I would make is if I was also very close with the deceased, like a best friend.
Only in the middle name slot, if it must be done aat all, and I think that if you've made the commitment to a new spouse and child, you should realize that there are some things that the ex, however beloved, doesn't belong, and that's the name of a child.