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You want my honest opinion. Im very sorry, it is very very nice that you want to honor your husbands brother. But I wouldn't use the name Spear. It is a nice thought considering that is the meaning and all. But I don't think it makes for a very nice name. Have you considered these names that are similar to Gary?

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Gareth
Jareth
Gregory

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Or some of these G names? Im not entirely sure of the style of names you care for but I will list some that I like:
Some G Names
Gabriel
Gage
Galen
Gallus
Garret
Gavin
Geoffrey
Gerald
Gerry
Gideon
Giles
Glen
Gordon

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Or if you don't care for the name Gary but want to honor him you can always use it as a middle name or a nn for another name. Hopefully I was of some help :)