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Help[Facts] Dear John...
in reply to a message by john - be gone
Oh dear, did I hurt your feelings? I shall now go back to my original posting to you, and examine exactly what it was I said that may have caused you such pain and suffering.
"Unless paternity has been established, the mother has the right to put "Unknown" on the child's birth certificate in place of where your last name would go."
Well, yes, I can see how THAT must have stung. Obviously you and the baby's mother are at some kind of odds. You did say: "I have not discussed this with the mother yet only because I have not thought of it when we are around one another." Uh-huh, so you already think there's a chance she may just leave your name off the birth certificate? If there was NO question already in your mind as to whether or not your baby's mother was going to put your name on the birth certificate there would be NO need for you to ask a group of strangers about it. Oooo, I'll bet *you're* a clever one, researching ways to get around this woman's wishes.
Let's see, what else did I say which might have upset you? Oh yes!
"Once paternity has been established (and, depending on which state in the U.S.A. you live in, this can be done as simply as your signing a paternity affidavit, or by the mother publishing your name in a newspaper) you will be financially responsible for the support of this child for perhaps the next 18 years of your life."
Face it, John, reality bites.
"If you are not married to this woman who is about to bear your child, then you have a LOT of things to discuss with her. Perhaps the least important of all is the vanity of seeing your last name on the birth certificate."
Yes, you *do* have a lot of things to discuss with this woman. And if my use of the word "vanity" stung you a bit, then eh! Quite frankly, I don't give a flying duck what you think. As well as my being (in your perception) a "major know-it-all bitch", I also happen to be judgemental. I'm judgemental of deadbeats, imbeciles, and lameasses. I'm suspicious of people who appear to be going behind other people's backs to get what they want. I'm particularly disdainful of males who father babies and then don't assume full responsibility for the support and *upbringing* of the children -- and, in conservative terms, THAT MEANS FREAKIN' MARRIAGE. I'm not saying that you're one of those, of course, because the woman who is going to bear your child may have told you, point-blank, that she doesn't want to be married to you, and I'll be kind and not even speculate as to why she may feel that way.
HOWEVER, if already you're not around this pregnant woman enough to ask her a SIMPLE FREAKIN' QUESTION as to what name she's going to put on the birth certificate, then that pretty much gives an indication of how much you're going to be around after this baby arrives.
-- Nanaea
"Unless paternity has been established, the mother has the right to put "Unknown" on the child's birth certificate in place of where your last name would go."
Well, yes, I can see how THAT must have stung. Obviously you and the baby's mother are at some kind of odds. You did say: "I have not discussed this with the mother yet only because I have not thought of it when we are around one another." Uh-huh, so you already think there's a chance she may just leave your name off the birth certificate? If there was NO question already in your mind as to whether or not your baby's mother was going to put your name on the birth certificate there would be NO need for you to ask a group of strangers about it. Oooo, I'll bet *you're* a clever one, researching ways to get around this woman's wishes.
Let's see, what else did I say which might have upset you? Oh yes!
"Once paternity has been established (and, depending on which state in the U.S.A. you live in, this can be done as simply as your signing a paternity affidavit, or by the mother publishing your name in a newspaper) you will be financially responsible for the support of this child for perhaps the next 18 years of your life."
Face it, John, reality bites.
"If you are not married to this woman who is about to bear your child, then you have a LOT of things to discuss with her. Perhaps the least important of all is the vanity of seeing your last name on the birth certificate."
Yes, you *do* have a lot of things to discuss with this woman. And if my use of the word "vanity" stung you a bit, then eh! Quite frankly, I don't give a flying duck what you think. As well as my being (in your perception) a "major know-it-all bitch", I also happen to be judgemental. I'm judgemental of deadbeats, imbeciles, and lameasses. I'm suspicious of people who appear to be going behind other people's backs to get what they want. I'm particularly disdainful of males who father babies and then don't assume full responsibility for the support and *upbringing* of the children -- and, in conservative terms, THAT MEANS FREAKIN' MARRIAGE. I'm not saying that you're one of those, of course, because the woman who is going to bear your child may have told you, point-blank, that she doesn't want to be married to you, and I'll be kind and not even speculate as to why she may feel that way.
HOWEVER, if already you're not around this pregnant woman enough to ask her a SIMPLE FREAKIN' QUESTION as to what name she's going to put on the birth certificate, then that pretty much gives an indication of how much you're going to be around after this baby arrives.
-- Nanaea
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Replies
Nanaea
Unfortunately, concerning assuming full responsability for the support and *upbringing* of a child, a man doesn't have to be married to the woman. I know of a few males (I don't consider them real men) who are married to the mothers of some, if not all, of their children, yet do NOT contribute to the support and/or *upbringing* of the offspring.
Case in point, my brother-in-law, who up until a week ago, could be found laying on the couch watching tv. He complained that he had a bad back and couldn't work to support his six children. He even said that to a friend of my brother (who incidently has eight children, two or three back surgeries and three jobs). It wasn't until a notice of foreclosure was handed to him that he decided to get off his lazy rump and find a job.
Brother-in-law's idea of taking care of the children: "Shut up, lay down and watch tv."
Phyllis (aka Sidhe Uaine or Gaia Euphoria)
Unfortunately, concerning assuming full responsability for the support and *upbringing* of a child, a man doesn't have to be married to the woman. I know of a few males (I don't consider them real men) who are married to the mothers of some, if not all, of their children, yet do NOT contribute to the support and/or *upbringing* of the offspring.
Case in point, my brother-in-law, who up until a week ago, could be found laying on the couch watching tv. He complained that he had a bad back and couldn't work to support his six children. He even said that to a friend of my brother (who incidently has eight children, two or three back surgeries and three jobs). It wasn't until a notice of foreclosure was handed to him that he decided to get off his lazy rump and find a job.
Brother-in-law's idea of taking care of the children: "Shut up, lay down and watch tv."
Phyllis (aka Sidhe Uaine or Gaia Euphoria)
1
Which is precisely why I included in my message to Dear John that "the woman who is going to bear your child may have told you, point-blank, that she doesn't want to be married to you, and I'll be kind and not even speculate as to why she may feel that way."
-- Nanaea
-- Nanaea
1