I look forward to these lists of yours the way most normal people look forward to American Idol or Desperate Housewives!
Lyon Cessily: Looks a lot like "lying sexily" does it not? Cecily is cute, but that spelling isn't so nice.
Agatha Sophia: Well, she'll definitely not be one of even two Agathas, wherever she goes.
Kama'Ren: Sequel to the Kama Sutra, or a very bad kre8yv spelling of Cameron?
Blessyn Valerie: I guess Valerie sneezes a lot so they have to be blessyn her all the time.
Scarlett Rose: My latest home-made BTN Hotlips Lipstick color!
Jester Junior: Surely they jest! No, I guess not.
Lilcopie: Oh, how manly! A name only a rapper would choose.
Vynsynt: Oh my god, I never expected anybody to screw with Vincent so badly! They murdered it!
Golden Yael: Ivy League wannabes?
Sion Israel These geopolitical names give me a pain.
Nickerson: If he ever goes to Britain, Heaven help him.
Hunter Lestat: So he not only hunts you down, he sucks your blood too.
Branski: You don't often see that kind of last name used as a first name.
Bratt: I bet. I just bet.
Keanu: Good god, could they pick a worse or dumber actor to name after?
Desire: This week at the Lusty Kitty!
Quinn Don: "My parents really wanted a boy, and they couldn't be bothered to even use the full name of Donald for a middle name."
Cleopatra: Like Liberace, Cher, Madonna, and Elvis, this is a one-off kind of name. Only the original bearer can really carry it off.
Passion: Desire's onstage doubles partner.
Suionesty: Virtue or vice?
Ezra Ata: Sounds like somebody's tongue is glued to the inside of their mouth.
Israel Eleazar: A real tongue-twister.
Reznor: Jesus. Please. "I wanna f*** you like an animal."
Moxon: Like a moccasin? Or mocking? Actually, Moxon looks like a medicine.
Geordan: He'll still be one of ten Jordans of both sexes and all spellings in school, and he'll still have to keep spelling it for people.
Coy Henry: And his brother Shy David? Rusty is sucha redneck, lot-lizard type of name.
Elder: The youngest in his family.
Forest Marty: Forrest is sucha nice name, why'd they stick that nicknamey Marty in there? Forrest Martin was too long?
Danka: Danka Schon.
Canyon Meadows: A retirement village in Arizona somewhere?