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Just when I thought I had seen it all

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I'm still laughing and crying over Squirrel Patton.

I like:

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GIRLS
Winter
Marie
Lynn
Catherine
Olivia
Scotland
Kate

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BOYS
Leif
Noble
Quinn
James
Cullen Peter
Clay
Thomas
August

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GIRLS
Juniper
Ashling
Montana
Indiana May
Gray
Phoenix

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BOYS
Cruz
Bennett
Nathaniel

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GIRLS
Anne
Posy Clementine
Valentine
Blake
Scarlet
Claire
Amelia
Grace

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BOYS
Diego
Legend
Wilder Blue

I'm loving Squirrel Patton, that is just too funny, lol.

GIRLS
Corinthian C. -- the C. stands for Column

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Noa H. -- this is actually a relief. I adore Noa on a girl.

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Malayza B. -- a cross between the country and the disease

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Saudiea C. -- Right. That's not political at ALL.

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Purity J. -- Chastity's little sister!

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Aunesty M. -- Let's be Aunest: this is disgraceful.

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La'Quasia Caz'Monae Million -- I got a million times queasier than I was just looking at this

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Cyncere S. -- Thank you for your consideration. Sincerely, Cyncere. P.S. I'm really, really not mocking you.

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Novell T. -- Actually, this indicates to me that you've never picked up a book in your life

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Angle Marina -- Where the boats are perpendicular!

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Nour Mohamed -- You do know that Mohammed and its various spellings are the most popular names given to boys across the entire globe, right?

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Mette Veronika Edythe -- Eye Mette Veronika Edythe andd it wuz a weerd ekspeeriens.

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Kashmir Olivia -- sad, sad, sad... she'll never actually own cashmere...

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Mercury Rachel -- we've gone from gender-switching to a form of poison. Excellent!

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BOYS
Izriyale W. -- Followed by siblings Amurrika and Sweedyn

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Brock Noble -- Me Tarzan. You Jane.

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Kutter Bazzar -- Bizarre it is indeed.

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Maverick Sidney -- it's almost obscure, but is it... yes... could it be... A JOHN MCCAIN REFERENCE!

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Londyn Clay -- found on the bottom of the Thames

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Messiah W. -- the kid's going to be an atheist

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Tripp J. -- because that won't get annoying on the playground

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I like/* would use:

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GIRLS
Corinthian
Scotland
Dever
Reason
Timber
Fox*
Clementine*
Hadley
Scottie
Wilder*

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BOYS
Leif
Merrill*
Madison*
Jules*
Ellery*
Cooper
Everett
Bear*
Julius*

GIRLS
Corinthian C. -does not sound like a girls name
Bruck C. -too rough
Winter W. -that's nice
Purity J. -100% human being
Aunesty M. -I think I should give her parents a dictionary for Christmas
La'Quasia Caz'Monae Million -words haven't been invented to describe this
Stormy C. -GP
Caeten Hayes -like Caden?
Angle Marina -you mean Angel right?
Charley Catherine -if they spelled it Charlie I would like it
Aydyn Shay -oh good lord
Cooper Ann -I desipe this name on a girl
Cylie Dever -is that like Silly
Alex Kate -too nicknamey
Kingsley T. -and her brother Queensley

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BOYS
Izriyale W. -*screams*
Leif Eric -lets hope his last name isn't Son
Addison Quinn -sadly today people are going to think he's a girl
Kutter Bazzar -what the heck?
Emerson James -at least its a boy
Londyn Clay -and sibling Liverpool Putty
Taz Joseph -like the Looney Tune?
Archer Rex -GP

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GIRLS
Honesty M. -at least its spelled right
Perfect Destiny -is that a book?
Kaitlain Shiloh -why couldn't they spell it Caitlin?
Candy D. -hate this as a legal name
Raven Eeray -goths
Jazybyl Viktoria -like Jezabel?
Laheaven Sanequoia Jaiona -terrible
Squirrel Patton -LOL
Riley Michael -way too masculine

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You know what? I'm okay with people naming their kids things like Venus, Destiny, Sincere, Honesty, and Karma. My only beef is . . . SPELL IT RIGHT, FOR KRISHNA'S SAKE! Aunesty? Really?

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Now back to your regular name program.

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I like Mette Veronica Edith. I generally hate more than one nickname, but I'm liking this a lot. As long as Edith isn't spelled Edyth, anyway.

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Leigh Frederick Ivey is so boss. I love it.

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Is Sailor Carolyn going to save us from the Dark Moon Kingdom along with Sailor Virginia, Sailor Madison, and Sailor Aunesty?!!

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I have a big problem with Perfect Destiny and Immaculate. Never, ever give your kid a name that they will never live up to.

I like:

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Sophia
Winter
Catherine
Ann (spelt Anne, mn)
Victoria
Alex Kate (prefer Alexandra Katherine)
Arian (prefer Ariana)

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Madison (f)

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Elizabeth
Shiloh
Reagan (both)
Juniper
Indiana May
Phoenix (m)

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Mathieu (spelt Matthew)
Nathaniel

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Breeh Anne (spelt Breanne)
Clementine
Briley (spelt Brylie)
Amelia

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Cai
Julius
Frederick (mn)
Phineas (spelt Phineas)

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Bruck: Sounds like you've got ssome food stuck in your throat.

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Purity, Immaculate: These names are every bit as trashy as Chastity. They are so ostentatiously, righteously "good" they end up the height of poor taste.

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Angel Marina: A very tricky spot to dock your boat.

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Izriyale: Hooked on Phonics? Call the Phonix Addixshun Senter for help.

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Leif Eric: Bet his last name is something like O'Houlihan or San Giovanni.

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Kutter Bazzar: The fair where all the self-mutilators go to whine.

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Perfect Destiny: The perfect destiny for her is giving table dances down to the Lusty Kitty.

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Jazybyl: And her sister Chernobyl.

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Squirrel Patton: I like pattin' squirrels.

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Paisley Pete: The weird homeless guy that walks around talking to himself, always wears that ratty paisley hippie shirt.

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Compton Steele: Bought out by Bethlehem Steel.

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Hestler: He's a hustler and a heckler.

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Denium: Rare element found only in blue jeans.

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Raedestynetiah: T Wt Blue F?!

I'd Use as FN:

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GIRLS
Winter
Nova
Israel
London
Michael
August
Shiloh
Juniper
James
Canyon
Blake - maybe

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BOYS
Winter
Nova
Shea - maybe
Addison
Sidney
London
Madison
Shiloh
Juniper
Indiana
Phoenix - maybe
Reason - maybe
Fox
Canyon
Sailor
Cadence - maybe
London
Journey