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Oh Jesus Christ. Where did I say that rape fantasy does NOT differ from real rape? Nowhere! I did not say that! I said the exact opposite! I didn't think it was even necessary to point that out to begin with, it should be patently obvious, but I forgot that everything needs to be foreseen and forestalled on the internet, so I did point it out in response to solveig. Yes, there's a form of mental consent when one has a fantasy--my point was that there's no consent within the fantasy itself.

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It never pays to keep things simple, does it? Obviously, if a woman is unconscious, or impaired, she can't give consent and a man should know that, and if she starts crying, he should know there's a problem. OTOH, if I hear, "I didn't want to but I said nothing because I disassociated from my body so it's rape", I'll do nothing but roll my eyes.

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I should have known that mention of "gentle rape" was going to cause someone to foam at the mouth. Sorry, but it's a thing, though not in real life.

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Maybe you should become a criminal defense attorney and volunteer your time pro bono to those falsely accused of crimes, including rape, to really understand this.