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Good God, these are mostly so awful, they sound like a couple of seven-year-old girls high on pure sugar came up with them with the help of their pretentious teenage babysitter.
I can't even pick the worst, though Wilfie certainly stands out.

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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes!
Steve Martin