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Madden is one h*ll of a name to saddle a child with. OK, she's the fifth, but that's no excuse. Sterling Ruffin, Atlas James and Brooks David are hilarious, somehow; so very non-matching.

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Matteo Jonathan James, Emmy Renea Annette, Trinity Rose Ann, Richard Eugene, Zoey Jane and finally - drumroll - Alister Vincent Ervine! Erratic spelling, but what an amazing collection.