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Have a family meeting. Have the new husband explain to the kids that he loves them very much and would like to adopt them as his own, and give them his last name. (This is the part to make them feel wanted and belonged.) But that it is their choice, and that if they choose to keep their present last names, in memory of their father, that would be perfectly fine, and he would love them just the same. He just wants to make them happy. (This is the part to eleviate guilt and obligation.)